Ya’ll! These last few
weeks have been the hardest, nothing majorly extreme but hard just the
same. This past week was a mixture of
hormones, the stresses of not working and kids who were doing their best to
test me; a scary trifecta of emotions that no one wants to experience! I felt frustrated, angry and upset, as though
nothing was going right and everything was a struggle. I lost count of the times I’ve lost it over
things that really aren’t that bad and complaining about things that I can’t
change. I hope someone else feels this
way and it’s not just me.
Is it this time of my life?
Is it life with three little people who are trying to grow up and figure
things out themselves (and can I say hard headed?!?)? Or is this how
it’s going to be for the rest of my life?!
I remember when I had my oldest, how I organized and had everything
worked out that he didn’t really change our lifestyle that much. We still hung out with friends, went out to
eat with him and I could still get things done at home. I don’t know if that’s just my deteriorated mind
remembering all the rainbows and unicorns, or if it was seriously how life
was. With the twins, I flutter from
incomplete thought to incomplete thought; task to uncompleted task and feel so
overwhelmed all the time. People always
comment how they don’t know how I do it, and I want to cry and say “I have no
idea how I’m doing it or what day it is!!!”
So, after my quiet time the other day, I laid my head on my
desk and asked God to reveal to me what I need to do. I needed some comfort and grace to give me
hope. I started flipping through my
bible, reading some of the notes that I’ve wrote down in the last few of months
and Philippians 2:14-15 popped out at me “Do everything without grumbling or
arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure”. I mean, all I was doing was grumbling and
arguing. If it wasn’t with someone else,
it was inner-grumbling or arguing and that, my friends, is probably worse!! Then,
I read a past First5 study over Numbers 11, it talked about the Israelites complaining about missing Egypt. Um, hello…they were slaves there, but it
totally made sense to me! We get so
caught up in our everyday “struggles”, that we forget what we should be
thankful for or what God has done for us. It makes me so sad.
So, with all that said, I wan to say I’m thankful for my family, my marriage and everything that
God has blessed us with. I’m thankful
that Corey has an awesome job that he loves and that is providing for
us now, when I can’t! I’m thankful that
God has blessed us abundantly during this time and that we are not doing
without! It’s definitely a God moment I would
like to discuss later. I’m thankful that
God is using this time to refine me and get me in a closer relationship with
him! I needed it so bad and I doubt I
would’ve ever got to this point if the rug hadn’t been pulled out from under
me! I just need to trust him and quit complaining because I know things could be so much worse.
It’s all about perseverance and trusting God, but we always make it so
much more complicated. I hope this has
given you some hope today. You’re not
alone. Have a great day!
“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature
and complete, not lacking anything.”
James 1:4 (NIV)