Hope...

Hey! Ok, I have something really big to be thankful for!! Two weeks ago, (yes, I know…it’s taken me a long time to write…I’ll try to do better!!) the bf was involved in a car wreck. It wasn’t his fault and there was a lot of drama that ensued afterward, but he is ok! It’s a long story but after he initially called to tell me he was in a wreck, I didn’t hear from him for over an hour. I tried texting him because I wasn’t sure if he was busy, with no reply. So of course, I started panicking, and all these crazy scenarios ran through my head. So I prayed that God would let me know he’s alright. Well, 5 minutes later he called from a friends’ phone and said his phone died but that everything was ok. It’s the everyday things that we need to be thankful for and realize in the moment that it wasn’t a coincidence that our prayers were answered, it was God! So thank you God, for keeping him safe and that everything worked out the way it should!

June is obviously the month for weddings!! We have 3 weddings this month! So pretty much every weekend, we are busy. Well, with all this wedding hoopla, I have been getting the questions. Questions that every single couple gets…when are you getting married?? What kind of wedding are you having? What are you going to do at your reception?? And honestly, I have no idea!! I don’t know why, but that kind of stuff normally just escapes my mind. Don’t get me wrong, when I am at a wedding and I see something I like, I often think “I need to remember that when….” but I don’t think about it all the time. Maybe I used to (ages ago ; ) ) but in the last few years it hasn’t really been a priority. If that makes sense…

I guess it goes back to when I had my hopes and dreams pulled out from under me. Being the ridiculous planner that I am, it was so hard not to know how my future would turn out. It has taken a lot of prayer and A LOT of heartache to realize that everything is on God’s time, not mine. Just within the last year, I have come to grips with it more. Once I realized that everything that I have been through isn’t going to be for nothing and God knows what’s best for me, it has been so much easier to accept the unknown. So now, the unknown future didn’t seem that bad, but I still held back on declaring my new hopes and dreams. I’ll admit it, I was scared to have them taken away again. But God has other plans. The last few weeks, (through my scripture memorization with my sistas!!) the verses that have been catching my eye have dealt with faith and hope. (And believe me, that’s no coincidence! It’s God!!)

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13

But when he asks, he is to believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the ocean, blown and tossed by the wind.
James 1:6

I feel like he is trying to tell me it’s ok to hope again. It’s ok to have faith because whatever happens He can get me through it, good or bad. I definitely want the good times (who doesn’t?!), but I know they aren’t guaranteed. Obviously God has more faith in me than I do, and when I think about it, that’s pretty awesome. So, since God has brought this to my attention, I feel like I have really begun to hope. I have brought my hopes to him, asking his blessings and favor over my hearts’ desires and I feel he has started to open my heart again. I think the process could’ve been shorter, but of course, I got in the way. Isn’t that how it always is?? Hope you have a great week!

And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Rejoice!

Hello everyone!! Hope your summer is getting off to a great start! Have you ever played bunco? I have started with a group of new friends and it is so much fun! It's just a bunch of girls, getting together, laughing and competing to win at bunco. Needless to say I won "Least Wins" Monday night, but I'm ok with that because I won my $10 entry fee back! Woohoo! But seriously, I want to thank God for my new friends. They are super nice and have been really welcoming. Such a blessing.

Well, sometimes I try to think of topics to write about and sometimes they just click and flow. There are definitely times when I try to start writing and there is just a little flow, but not enough to write something that I can look back and feel it meant something. So hopefully, as I begin this post, there is a flow because I feel the message is important. For a few months now, (well…if I want to be honest probably years) I have been battling with my thought process. Being the over analytic person I am, I have the awesome ability to over think every situation, thought or even an imaginary action over and over again. Ok, it’s not really awesome, it’s really sad when you think about it…just don’t over think it! : ) I can take simple situations and make them into HUGE issues all by myself. Even stuff that has been long and dealt with, every so often comes back up and I find myself having that crazy internal conversation with myself! And what’s even crazier is that 99% of the time, it never happened. It’s just what I think would happen. Does that make sense??

So, after reading some articles and doing some different bible study lessons I have learned that you have to capture these thoughts. I think it’s your minds tendency to run away with your thoughts (or at least after many years my mind is trained to do that). So, I want to retrain my brain and start to capture those thoughts before they drag me down in negativity and rejoice!! Lately, I have noticed when I start down that path and I thank God for bring it to my attention. (Granted, it’s not every time but it’s more often than not.) I need to realize that I shouldn’t focus on things I don’t have, or things I should have done. I need to focus on the present, the here and now and be thankful for what God has done in my life. I just don’t understand why it’s so hard to practice that, when I know it’s what I should be doing. Not just for my happiness, but because it’s the right thing to do.

I get so down on myself sometimes for the negativity, but I think everyone goes through it and God understands. It's not something that we readily talk about, I mean, who likes to talk about their failures?? I know I don't! But God knows our hearts and hopefully we are sincerely trying to change, as hard as that may be. Hope you have a great week!

"Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS. I will say it again: Rejoice!!" Phil 4:4

God Stops

Hello, hello!! This week has been pretty good! And thank God it’s Friday!! No major plans this weekend. Hopefully some rest and relaxation is in the schedule, lounging by the pool, reading a good book. I just love May!!

As promised, this post is to reflect on things that I know for a fact that God has done for me recently!! Looking back, it’s so awesome to see where he has taken us, but we easily forget the day to day things he has done for us. That’s one of the main reasons I wanted to document this, especially in writing, is so I won’t forget the smaller things that God has done for me!

The first one that I want to point out happened during our Beth Moore simulcast at our church. We had prayed for weeks for everything to go just perfect and that morning the weather looked horrible. On my way to church, it was foggy and drizzling…just nasty. Then about 5 minutes after I got in the church (a BIG thank you God for that!!) the bottom fell out! It was raining so hard and loud! I personally was praying it would stop because I didn’t want the satellite equipment to go out!! (I was the technical contact for our church!) Well, we were busy with setting everything up that I didn’t really pay attention to the weather anymore. Then about 30 minutes before the simulcast started, I went outside and it looked like this! God is so awesome!
BTW, the simulcast was great!! There were a couple of technical difficulties but nothing we couldn’t fix. Or more appropriately, nothing that God couldn’t fix!!

About 2 years ago, I went in for my yearly physical and the doctor noticed my thyroid was enlarged. After some tests, they sent me to a specialist. They did an ultrasound and measured it. Six months later, they measured it again and it had grown so they scheduled a biopsy. Everything came back normal except that it was enlarged, most likely with fluid. They recommended removing the nodule, just because it was growing (it had no effect on my thyroid levels). For some reason I couldn’t make sense of removing something that was not causing any problems. So I didn’t do it. Well, this year at my annual thyroid exam, the nodule had shrunk! It was 1.4cm previously and now it is 1.1cm! I was excited and knew that God was watching out for me.

Well, my dad has been telling me I need to replace my tires on my car for at least a month now. But who really wants to do that?!? (Sometimes I hate being a grown-up!!) So, on Sunday he told me that he thought they were splitting so I finally planned to take my car in on Friday and get new tires (boo!). On my way home Thursday, long story short, I ran over a huge board on IH-10!! (Yes, it was unavoidable!!) When I looked at my tire, I didn’t notice anything crazy, but when my boyfriend looked at it he saw that the rim had cut my tire on the side. It sort of looked like someone had bit the tire! The damage could’ve been so much worse, to my fender or frontend of my car! Or I could’ve gotten into a wreck, but again I felt God was watching over me.

During all this tire craziness, I was thinking about how much it was going to cost for my tires. It didn’t help my dad thought they were going to cost $700 per tire!!! (which they didn’t! Thank you God!!) Not that I was seriously worrying, it was just on my mind. Then, $250 randomly showed up in my checking account. I still haven’t figured out why it’s there (calling the bank is on my to-do list : )) but personally I feel like God is watching out for me again.

There’s nothing He can’t do and nothing we can’t do, if we trust Him. I have been trying to notice God more in my everyday life, because we get so easily trapped in the negativity. The main theme that I have been focusing on is “choices”. You can choose happiness in any situation, especially when you choose God. Hope you have a great weekend!!

“Nothing is impossible with God.” Luke 1:37

Birthday Celebration!!

Hey! Here’s another fun post! I just had to update you on the best week ever!! Whew!! I’ve had such an action packed week/weekend, it’s a miracle that I can make a sentence! The Lord has really blessed me last week more than I can name! It’s so awesome when we can immediately see God working in our life, for our good! I am so thankful for all my friends and family this week! My heart is overflowing from their kindness and love. Thank you Lord for your joy!!

Well, as some of you know I celebrated my birthday last week and it was a “Big” one!!

I’m not sure how you feel about birthdays but they are pretty important to me. I normally like to have a birthday week! You may laugh, but it is just easier to get friends and family together multiple days instead of doing one party where some people may not be able to make it. Anyhoo, I actually thought about having “30 days for 30 years” but then I thought that would be too hard (and maybe a little over the top) on my boyfriend! Haha. So a week it was. I think I ate out every night last week with different groups of friends and family. It was a blast! Then the big night was Friday… that's right....80’s skating party!!
Actually, let me back up because I have to throw out some props to God. (Ha, ha…props) I feel like God actually helped plan my party! There were alot of set backs in planning this party but as it got near, God just opened doors and it turned out to be a really great party. Things like actually talking to someone at the skating rink, my boyfriend talking to them without me knowing (How sweet!!), finding the perfect outfit and on and on. He is so good and is into the details too!! Now, back to the story….

We had so much fun at the skating rink. It was so much fun to get out there and not really care what anyone thought. (Well, I really did care about falling. Not something I wanted to do!!) And what’s funny is the kids there LOVED us. Actually, my boyfriend sort of had a following. Why wouldn’t he looking as awesome as he did?!?! Ha ha! I think he had more fun than the kids!! Alot of the kids were so sweet. They would tell me happy birthday and that they liked my dress. I know for a fact if I would’ve been that age, I definitely wouldn’t have talked to any strangers especially looking like we did!! But they were super nice. One little girl actually gave me one of her own bracelets for my birthday. It just really blessed me because I wouldn’t have thought to do that, especially to a weirdo in 80’s clothes!! Ha ha. Everything turned out really great and I was so glad that my friends actually dressed up!! I was nervous my boyfriend and I would be the only ones in costume. But at least I can say I am dating a rock star!! Haha.

Stay tuned...I've started working on a post where God has really shown up. Just more credit for the things he's done in my life!! Hope you have a good week!!

"Give me happiness, o Lord, for my life depends on you." Psalm 86:4 NLT

Long time no see!

Hey everyone!! It’s been such a long time since I have wrote. There have been a lot of things going on and I just haven’t had time to write about all of them. Talk about all kinds of exhaustion!! I feel like I haven’t been able to catch up for about a month now. But when I do get to catch one day (and let me emphasize ONE!!) to do nothing, it is so nice! I’m so thankful for naps!! And if you know me, I treasure them! I wish I knew how awesome they were when I was little, because I would’ve had a lot more!!

Man, so much has gone on in the last few weeks. I haven’t had that much time to talk about them and wasn’t sure if I should or how to do it. I normally when I blog try to have some kind of message but today I just thought a summary of what I have been up to might be nice. They are going to be numbered but it’s in no particular order! I’m actually going to add pictures too, just for fun!!

1. I got to meet BETH MOORE!!!! It was insane! I felt like a little girl at a Jonas Brothers concert! Now I know how a stalker feels….only if she got to know me, I know we could be BFFs!! Haha. But seriously it was really neat to get to meet the woman who I’ve done bible studies with for years(just not in person). She was really down to earth and just too cute! But seriously, I think we could really be BFFs!!! Ha!

2. I also participated in Relay for Life this year with my boyfriends’ family.

His nephew has leukemia and they organized the team for him, Team Awesome Dawson. We played in a bowling tournament which was so much fun! In one of our practice sessions, I bowled the best game I have ever bowled… a 145!!!!! And of course I took a picture of it! And then our team won “Most creative theme” for our 3 Men and a Lady team name! Then we did the actual Relay for Life and it was so hectic. We had to move indoors because of the weather and there were so many people who participated. And by the way, our team won “Most Spirited Team” award! I think there were 82 teams in all and the last I heard the South Jefferson Relay raised $293,000!! That is so amazing and I am so glad I was able to be a part of that! (And thanks again to all those who donated to our team!)

3. I was invited to Las Vegas with my boyfriends’ family to attend his sisters’ wedding. It’s funny because I posted a lot of pictures of the trip on Facebook and some people thought that I got married!! (My boyfriends’ sister’s name is Heather also!! So there was some confusion.) That still cracks me up! I guess it happens though. We saw so much and then there was still so much we didn’t see. (The pictures are are sort of small but I was trying to be artistic!!)

4. While we were in Vegas, I HAD to stop by this one place…it was the MUST-DO of my trip!

I could have cared less about gambling but there was no question of stopping by the Apple Store (AND it was in our hotel! How awesome!!)!! I tried to not want the new iPad, but who can resist it’s 9.7 in multi-touch screen and awesome graphics?? So, I tried getting my little hands on one in Vegas to no avail and then when I got home I put my name on every waiting list here! Finally, on April 19, 2010, I purchased my new iPad. After much deliberation, I named her Pamela Irene Pad, Pam iPad for short. Although there was a little hiccup during the installation, Pam has been wonderful!! I am so glad that I bought her!! Hopefully I will have this kind of enthusiasm when I have children!! Haha.

Well, this concludes the summary recap. I hope you enjoyed it. I just can’t quit thinking of how God has blessed me, even though it’s been so hectic, it’s been an awesome couple of weeks. God knew I needed to have some fun, and boy did he bring it! I’m so thankful that He did! Hope you have a great weekend!!

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12 NIV

Inspirations...

Hello!! How is everyone doing? Well, I am coming off a busy week and finally had a restful weekend!! It was so nice to take not one, but two naps this weekend. I guess I was still worn out from the time change to Vegas and back! This coming Saturday, my church is hosting the Beth Moore simulcast and I am so excited! I have been reading her book and can’t wait to hear the message God has planned for us! I am praying that God will touch hearts and inspire change in all of us! I am so thankful for Beth bringing the Word and being obedient to God!

Well, I am not sure if I have written about this, but my Sunday School class is memorizing scripture. The 1st and 15th of every month, we all choose our own scripture but write them on our wall on Facebook. It’s really fun to see what verse everyone picks and sometimes it gives us ideas for our next verse. Sunday morning, we were talking about how God is in control and nothing is by chance. One of my sista’s said that God spoke to her through a verse someone posted on Facebook. So I wonder how many people God has allowed us to touch or encourage through our memory verses, without us even knowing it! It would be awesome to know, but I am glad to know that God could use me to help someone who needs it!

Ok, this post is pretty random. I normally try to have a subject or topic but there have been a lot of little things that I have wanted to talk about. I am finishing up the Beth Moore book, So Long Insecurity and chapter 17 talks about what I have been feeling for a long time, but she actually puts it in better words than I ever could! To sum it up, she says that God doesn’t say we won’t experience fear in our life, but that we can trust him to get us through them. That is so awesome because I was just thinking about this the other day. I think it was chapter 16 review question on her blog, she asked us what is our passion? That is so hard to answer! I mean, can reading really be my passion? How about sleeping, because I LOVE to do that? But really, what is my passion? I would want my passion to be something that could change lives or help someone who needs it. So I was thinking, especially because of everything I’ve been through, that maybe my passion is trying to tell people about God’s grace and peace during the worst trials of your life. He is there, you just have to reach out to him and let him calm the storm. And hopefully I relay that in this blog, that I write something that someone can relate to and help them get through something in their life. So I’ll just keep writing until God has me stop. Maybe this is my passion. : ) Hope you have a good week!

P.S. – I am participating in a local Relay for Life, so pray that everything goes well there! Thanks!

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27 (NIV)

Look what the Lord has done!

Hey everyone!! How are you doing? Hopefully good! I’m getting ready for the long Easter weekend and am really excited! In less than a week, I will be headed to Vegas with my boyfriend and his family to be at his sister’s wedding. I’m really excited because I haven’t taken a real vacation (defined as a trip in a plane (not a car) for more than a weekend!!!) since college. It’s going to be really nice to just get away. And I want to thank God that I am even able to do that. He is so awesome!!

Ok, I wasn’t actually going to say this, but writing about Vegas made me think... When I tell people that I am going to Vegas, I sometimes get the gasp and don’t you know it’s Sin City?? Hopefully, Jesus doesn’t come back when you are there?!? (Ha ha, this one made me laugh) Ok, maybe there is more sin there than most cities but really, there is sin everywhere! I plan on going to a wedding, lying by the pool, eating awesome meals (that include the desserts!!! Ha ha), and seeing shows. I don’t drink and it physically pains me to gamble so I think this would be just like a normal vacation for me, it just happens to be in Vegas. I could do the same in Dallas, Orlando or Cozumel. It doesn’t matter where you are, it just matters how you act!! And hopefully if Jesus comes back when I’m there, he won’t totally overlook the whole town of Las Vegas!! Ha ha. Whew!! I think I’m done.

And now for the real post. : ) Well, the last couple of weeks have been so awesome. I feel like a lot of things have been going really good, which is great because I wasn’t sure what else I could go through. I don’t want to sound like I am complaining, because I’m not. I have just been reflecting and see everything that God has brought me through (because I definitely know it wasn’t just me!) and it’s pretty amazing. (The hymn "Look what the Lord has done" is going through my head now!! Ha ha!) I mean, actually if I want to count my whole college experience, I probably could. God REALLY got me through that! Who would’ve thunk it, that a girl who didn’t like math in high school would “grow up” (I use that term loosely) to be an engineer?? He was there with me after I graduated and couldn’t find a job. He was especially there for me after my fiancé died. That was the hardest thing I have ever been through and am so thankful for my relationship with God. I know that I couldn’t have got through it without Him. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. It was very hard to go through, I still miss Thomas, and there were times that I questioned God, but looking back I can see His finger prints everywhere and I’m sure that there will be more things come because God is so good. : )

Since then I have moved into my own house, lost my job, got a new job, and still feel God’s presence. I think that the main lesson I’m learning is that God is in control, not me. I try so hard to plan things and when they don’t happen my way I sort of freak, but I am learning God is there for me no matter what. I was talking with a friend the other day about how we thought our lives would be when we were younger. If you would’ve asked me then I would’ve told you I am NOT having kids at 30, and look where I am now, a month till my 30th birthday. It’s sort of funny. I trust God and know without a shadow of a doubt he has something awesome planned for me. I just have to be patient and wait on Him. Hope you have a great Easter weekend and remember He has risen!

“Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!” Psalm 27:14 (NKJV)