He's working on me!

Hello!  Hope everyone is doing well. Today, I have gotten a couple of messages that I wanted to share.  God is working overtime in my life right now and I need it so desperately.  One message that I have gotten is that when we accomplish the small things with God, he knows that he can trust us with the big things.  I feel like I can trust him with the big stuff, to a certain degree, it’s just the small stuff that I struggle with continuously.  The day-to-day stuff that wears me down and keeps me from feeling that joy.  Since I am staying at home, my stress level has increased by 300%.  I am not a mom who finds my worth in how much my kids need me.  Jude has always been such an independent child that I didn’t struggle with this as bad, or maybe he was the only one so he got all of our attention.  But with 3 small kids, this is the hardest thing I have done!!  Jude and Connley fight for my attention.  Someone is always crying.  Corbin wants me to look at what he’s done.  Individually, it’s not a big deal, but when it’s all-together, at the same time, it is so overwhelming to me.  I know I probably sound horrible, but I just want to be real. I just have to trust that God is using this time to refine me, to shape me into the person he needs me to be.  Yes it’s hard, and no I won’t do it perfectly starting tomorrow, but I acknowledge my problem and am willing to fight the fight to come out victorious with God’s help! 

See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wastelands.   Isaiah 43:19 (NIV)

The second message that I’ve been getting multiple times over, is giving grace to ourselves. I’m slowly learning that I can’t do everything like I would want.  The house is as clean as I can get it, the laundry is laughable, doing fun craft projects that I want to do is so 2011 (the year Jude was born!!  Haha!).  It’s frustrating and I get so mad sometimes, but I have realized that it is God’s will for me to be right here, right now.  My family isn’t going to care that I didn’t get to make this awesome Pinterest craft 20 years from now, so why should I care?  And it’s not going to help that I am wishing these years away.  I just need to focus on what’s best for me, my family and that its in line with what I think God wants me to do.  We also need to have grace for our friends or acquaintances that are struggling. It’s easy in this social media, “look at me” world that we’re in to pass judgment so quickly, but we need to remember that we have no idea what they are going through. 

And when God brings you a message more than once, from different sources, you need to pay attention.  At least, that’s what he does to me.  I’m trying Lord!!  I’m really trying!!

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s powers may rest on me.”  2 Corinthians 12:9

Give Him all the thanks!

Hello everyone!  God is so good!  He is continuously working in my life right now and even though I am going through hard times, I can only rejoice!!  Yesterday was literally the outpouring of God and made a lot of what I have been doing lately worth every lost penny.  I've had time to read and study God's word.  I've had time to think about all God has done for me in the last 10-15 years.  Time to focus on how good God is and it all came to a head yesterday.

I got a phone call from someone who is having a hard time right now.  The hardest time in their whole life.  It's not my place to talk about their problems or even tell you what they are because the message is still the same.  I've tried to get better at getting up before the kids to pray and do my bible study.  Have I really?!?  Depends on what day it is, but this week I have gotten up 3 times before the kids and that is a record so maybe that can tell you how I'm doing!  : )  So back to yesterday.  I got up, finished my bible study and started praying over my prayer list.  I was a little distracted but as I prayed I wrote down some names of people I need to contact, to ask how they are doing or whatever. Well, when I got to this specific person, I immediately sent a text telling them I was thinking of them and praying that they have a good day.  Also that God is in control and they can get through this time.  Nothing amazing, just a heart felt message in a spur of the moment.  I have no idea why I stopped during my prayer to do it, but I didn't even think twice about it actually.

That afternoon I got the phone call.  That person told me that yesterday was the hardest day they have ever had.  They told me the no one understands what they are going though and they didn't know who else to call.  It breaks my heart to think back on it but I gave them words of encouragement that I pray stick.  I told them that we can not do anything without God.  Every single thing is because of Him!  I told them of how God brings us through hard times to refine us and grow us, as he is there helping us the whole way.  It may not seem like he's there, or that the trial goes on forever, but he is holding our hand, leading us and guiding us to a better relationship with Him.  It is so hard to feel like you are alone, but I told them that they are never alone.  God set this path out for them to mold and grow them and give them a testimony so one day they can help someone else.

That conversation was literally from God because I know I couldn't have said those things 1 year ago or even 6 months ago.  I've always been scared I was going to say something wrong and set someone back or give them a reason to not believe, but the last two bible studies I've done have shown me that God can use anyone.  He gives us these opportunities to teach us that He is in control.  As I come to him daily, I ask him to give me the words to speak, that they encourage, uplift, give hope and of course point people to Jesus.  I'm so glad that I was able to help someone, but to point them to God made it all the better.  If you're reading this, please lift up my friend.  They could use all the prayers right now.  God can bring redemption, we just have to be willing to be used by Him.  I pray you have a blessed day and an amazing weekend!

Nothing is impossible with God.  Luke 1:37

We need to go to work!

I’m not sure if you have heard me say it, but when God has a message for you, he will repeat the message until you “get it”.  This happens to me all the time because I guess I normally don’t get it!  Haha.  The message that he has been repeating to me this week is that I need to pray more.  Multiple messages, from multiple people, all speaking of the importance of prayer.  It’s not a coincidence; it is God. 

On Sunday, my pastor spoke of how as a church we need to pray more.  His message started with Ephesians 6:18; where we need to pray at all times.  He also said that as a generation, we have gotten so busy with things; that we don’t have time to pray or even get into the word of God as we should.  The things aren't necessarily bad, but they are taking our time away from God. Its so sad, but so true and I am so guilty of this.  We need to be lifting our church up in prayer; for the leaders, teachers and members.  We need to pray that we be beacons in our community that lead people to Jesus because that is our main calling. 

Then, that afternoon, I saw a tweet from Beth Moore that said “What happens in our church services was never meant to be up to our pastors, worship teams and leaders alone.  We members are not spectators.”  “God forbid we’d sit back, eat a donut hole and sure hope church is good today.  Let’s get off our spectating rear ends & pray.”  “Let’s pray hindrances down.  For God’s word to be effectual in every hearer.  For salvation/transformation.  Relationships healed.”  You’ve gotta love 140 characters, but the message is the same.  We are not to sit on the sidelines and let the leaders be the main "praye-rs".  We need to take control of our prayer life and use it to bring others closer to God!

Well, then on facebook last night, someone shared a blog post of Beth Moore.  I thought it was a continuation of her tweet, but the blog post was from February 4, 2015.  So it was posted a year earlier, but with the same message.  Colossians 4:2 – Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.  I thought I would summarize her post but thought this would be more powerful.  (I am hearing it in my head, the way she is saying/yelling it, like she does during her messages.)  Here it is straight from her post, in it’s ALL CAPS…

“WE’VE GOT TO PRAY.

WE’VE GOT TO BECOME PEOPLE OF PRAYER.

WE’VE GOT TO PRESS IN MUCH FURTHER AND BELIEVE GOD TO BE MUCH BIGGER.

WE’VE GOT TO CEASE LETTING PRAYER BE OUR WEAKEST SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE.

WE’VE GOT TO STEP IT UP AND WIELD THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT IN RELENTLESS INTERCESSION.

WE’VE GOT TO GO FURTHER THAN WE’VE GONE BEFORE IN PRAYER. PRESS HARDER. THINK HIGHER. DIG OUR KNEES IN DEEPER.

WE WILL NOT LIVE BOLDER THAN WE PRAY.

THERE ARE PARTS OF OUR CALLINGS, WORKS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, AND DEFEATS OF THE DARKNESS THAT WILL COME NO OTHER WAY THAN FURIOUS, FERVENT, FAITH-FILLED, UNCEASING PRAYER.”

Ya’ll, we have to pray now more than ever.  Pray for loved ones, pray for those who are hurting and especially pray for those that don’t know Jesus.  My pastor asked us to pray for 15 minutes every day, for our church, for lost loved ones and for each other.  We need it now more than ever.  I hope this speaks to someone, like it has spoken to me.  My weakest spiritual discipline has been prayer and I want to change that.  I want to become more powerful in prayer.  It’s what God wants us to do and one big benefit is that he loves to answer our prayers.  We just have to go to work!!  Thank you Jesus!

I prayed to the Lord and he answered me, freeing me from all my fears.  Psalm 34:4

He seeks me and finds me.

Yesterday, I could not overlook the fact that God is ever present.  I am continually amazed at how he watches over us and provides ways to comfort us, encourage us and to let us know he’s walking with us.  As I sit here jobless, with no solid prospects in sight, I can rest in the knowledge that God knows what is going to happen.  He hasn’t revealed anything specific to me, but he has comforted me with many messages of hope. 

Yesterday in my bible study, there was a reminder from 2 Corinthians 4:9; that we are not forsaken or not destroyed because God’s promises endure.  During a Periscope with Beth Moore yesterday (you know, the 24-hour thing), she spoke about dread being the lack of faith in God.  I’ve never thought of it that way but it is so true.  I find myself starting to panic about all the worries and grown up things we have to deal with, and I have to make myself stop…its a vicious cycle.  But Beth spoke the verses Psalm 112:6-8, Isaiah 26:3-4 and Proverbs 3:1-8 and that gives me hope.  Hope that God knows the innermost desires of my heart and he will work it out for my good.  It may not be how I thought it would turn out, or even what I thought it would look like, but God knows.  Then today during my bible study, we were asked to personalize bible verses to make them more applicable to us.  The list included Deuteronomy31:8, Romans 15:18, Micah 7:7 and my favorite verse of all time, Jeremiah 29:11-13.  Jeremiah 29:11-13 has been my go to verse since 2004 when I graduated from college.  It has helped me have hope through some of the roughest times in my life, but today I looked at it in wonder all over again.  When I personalized verse 13 “HEATHER will seek me and find me when SHE seeks me with all her heart.”  WOW!  I have definitely been seeking God more lately and I have found him and that gives me so much hope!  I’m so thankful that a word written so long ago, still applies to me today.  It’s so amazing!

This morning, I realized that I would have never left my job intentionally because I pretty much loved my job.  Everyone was a joy to work with and it was a place where people helped one another to get things accomplished.  But knowing that, God must have something better in store for me, and I have no idea how that will turn out.  It’s scary and suffocating to an introvert like myself, having to start over, having to prove myself to other people…it’s the worst for my analytical planning self.  But God is bringing me to it, and I know he’ll bring me through it.  Man, he’s such an awesome God.  Thank you Jesus, for choosing me, a lowly sinner, saved by grace.  Praying many blessings to you.

“But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.”  Micah 7:7

He's always there.

God is so awesome and he blows me away with the thought and care that he has for us.  Right now, God is so apparent in my life and I love it!  The only downside is that I am now jobless.  For every major season in my life, God has provided a way for me to come close to him so I will know that he is there.  It sounds weird, but it is so true.

 

The beginning of this year, my sister-in-law asked me to do an online bible study with her through Proverbs31 Ministries.  It is called Becoming more than a good Bible study girl and it was set to start January 24^th.  I ordered the book as soon as I signed up and started reading because with my crazy life I wasn’t sure I would have enough time during the study to keep up.  The book (the 3-4 chapters I read beforehand) basically summed up what I have been lacking in my walk with Christ:  spending more time with God and when I seek him, finding peace with him. 

Fast forward to January 24^th, my boss requested a meeting where he told me due to budget reductions, I would have to be let go.  Of course I was devastated, but I have had a sense of peace about it because my eyes were open to see that God had this in his hands since the beginning of time.  My first5 devotional for that day was “Whatever battle you’re facing today, the victory can be yours in Christ.”  The message from the bible study was John 15:9-12:  “As the father has loved me, so I have loved you.  Now remain in my love.  If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.  My command is this:  Love each other as I have loved you.”  And at the end of that week it was 1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”  I mean, how straightforward can that be?! 

All of this has been echoed in sermons at church, podcasts in the car, retweets from different people…the list goes on and on.  It’s hard for us on earth to realize that God is always there but he’s the song on the radio, the “random” word from a friend; the message we hear over and over again.  It’s not a coincidence it’s God.  He has our best interest at heart and he’s always there, even when we don’t realize it.  I can’t say how thankful I am right now that he is with me.  He cares for us so much.  I pray you have a blessed week.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)