Friday, March 12, 2010

Bring me joy...

Hello everyone!! Hoping you are having a great Friday! Last night I went to the Houston Rodeo. I had a great time with the boyfriend but I didn’t get home till almost 1:00am, so I am really tired today! But as God always does, he surprised me with an awesome sunrise. Of course I left my phone at home because I was in a hurry so I can’t share it with you, but it was really beautiful. Just a reminder of God’s love for us…

Ok, I have to admit that I did something really, really stupid!! And I knew better!! As I have mentioned before, I am reading So Long Insecurity to get rid of all the extra baggage that I have willingly carried around as long as I can remember. So this comes as an even bigger disappointment! I was on Facebook the other day, which normally isn’t a problem, but I saw something on there that really shook me up! I guess maybe because I really wasn’t expecting it and it is one of my insecurities. Of course, I started with the questions… Are you kidding me? Surely, you have to be kidding me and on and on. And if you have been reading, you probably know this is a huge problem of mine. Analyzing a “problem” over and over and there really isn’t going to be a solution, working myself up until I’m all frazzled. So, I feel horrible to admit that I fell into the trap head first. And isn’t that what the devil is always trying to do?? For the last couple of weeks I have felt my cup was overflowing with joy and here he goes throwing my same old lure out there. And for a few minutes (well, actually I’m not sure how long it lasted) I took the bait. What’s sad is that I know in my head that the relationship wasn’t good for me. It wasn’t meant to be and I know that! But it still hurt.

Thankfully, (after my mini-fit) I gave it up to God asking that He cover me with his strength and dignity. I have so much to be thankful for to worry about what happened in the past. God has blessed me and is continuing to bless me so why should I focus on the negative?? It’s the past for a reason. I realize God allowed that season to happen and I can honestly say that I did grow from it, but again it is the past. I can’t say that I am totally “over it”, but God is working on me. I just have to remember in the moments before the “Are you kidding me????,” I need to call on God to help me get through it and He will. Hope you have a good weekend!

“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” Psalm 94:19

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Filling my cup

Hey everyone!! Hope everyone is doing good! I got some really good news last night. My boyfriend surprised me with tickets to see Brad Paisley at the Houston Rodeo on Thursday! I am really excited!! It will be a fun date night for us, even though it’s during the week and we both have work the next day! So, I am thankful for my boyfriend who is always doing sweet things for me. Actually, I probably need to thank his momma for growin’ him up right!!! Hahaha.

Ok, as I write this I am really not sure what my topic is going to be about, so bear with me! Normally I have an idea of what I am going to write about but I just feel like my heart is overflowing right now and I can’t pin point it to one topic. I am reading the So Long Insecurity book by Beth Moore and participating in her book discussion online. All the ladies on there have really blessed me more than I can imagine. Some of the heartache that they have been through has broken my heart but I know God can heal all their wounds and help make them more secure women in the process. Through this blog, I have met a couple of women who I would not have met otherwise, let me rephrase that…God has brought a couple of women in my life that I would not have met otherwise. I have learned so much from them and want thank God for them. (I wanna give a shout out to April & Beth!! Thanks for being my new blogger friends!! : ) )
Don’t you just love being in the right place at the right time. I feel that is where I am with God now, like everything is just clicking together. It may be because I upped my prayer game and God is near. It may be because I have opened my heart more and saw God’s awesome hand move. I don’t know which one it is, but I love it! Really, I can’t explain this feeling other than my heart is overflowing with joy which is funny because I have been praying for God to fill my cup with the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Well, it’s not funny…it’s just real. It’s so amazing when God uses you to further his plan AND you can see the outcome immediately.

This past weekend, I had a great time with a really good friend. We are discussing the So Long Insecurity book together and after our discussion Saturday I just felt so happy. I know that no one likes to talk about their insecurities, but it was awesome to be able to connect with her on another level that we normally wouldn’t discuss. It’s freeing to realize what your securities are and to be able to ask God to help you become more secure in those areas. There are definitely going to be trials, but they are there to help you grow. I read somewhere that God uses change to change us. I’m so glad you read this. It may not necessarily have a specific point, but just know that God is here. He is willing to help you whenever you need him and you can rely on his strength to get you through anything. Again, thanks for reading and hope you have a great week!!

“She is clothed in strength and dignity.” Proverbs 31:25