Friday, March 12, 2010

Bring me joy...

Hello everyone!! Hoping you are having a great Friday! Last night I went to the Houston Rodeo. I had a great time with the boyfriend but I didn’t get home till almost 1:00am, so I am really tired today! But as God always does, he surprised me with an awesome sunrise. Of course I left my phone at home because I was in a hurry so I can’t share it with you, but it was really beautiful. Just a reminder of God’s love for us…

Ok, I have to admit that I did something really, really stupid!! And I knew better!! As I have mentioned before, I am reading So Long Insecurity to get rid of all the extra baggage that I have willingly carried around as long as I can remember. So this comes as an even bigger disappointment! I was on Facebook the other day, which normally isn’t a problem, but I saw something on there that really shook me up! I guess maybe because I really wasn’t expecting it and it is one of my insecurities. Of course, I started with the questions… Are you kidding me? Surely, you have to be kidding me and on and on. And if you have been reading, you probably know this is a huge problem of mine. Analyzing a “problem” over and over and there really isn’t going to be a solution, working myself up until I’m all frazzled. So, I feel horrible to admit that I fell into the trap head first. And isn’t that what the devil is always trying to do?? For the last couple of weeks I have felt my cup was overflowing with joy and here he goes throwing my same old lure out there. And for a few minutes (well, actually I’m not sure how long it lasted) I took the bait. What’s sad is that I know in my head that the relationship wasn’t good for me. It wasn’t meant to be and I know that! But it still hurt.

Thankfully, (after my mini-fit) I gave it up to God asking that He cover me with his strength and dignity. I have so much to be thankful for to worry about what happened in the past. God has blessed me and is continuing to bless me so why should I focus on the negative?? It’s the past for a reason. I realize God allowed that season to happen and I can honestly say that I did grow from it, but again it is the past. I can’t say that I am totally “over it”, but God is working on me. I just have to remember in the moments before the “Are you kidding me????,” I need to call on God to help me get through it and He will. Hope you have a good weekend!

“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” Psalm 94:19

1 comment:

  1. First of all - jealous about the rodeo - haven't been to one of those since I was a kid. Second, I know what you mean about those traps - it really can be tricky sometimes can't it? It seems like my pattern is that my best moments are often followed by my worst moments. I know that it is just the enemy working to steal my joy but still - it can really be a lot to overcome even if it does only last a few minutes!

    Good thing we are both working to be more secure :O) I agree that this will help us out a great deal.