I don’t know where to start. But do know that this is something I want to write about. Have you heard about the Meyers-Briggs personality test? Some people at work had it done and I thought it sounded interesting. I found a free test online and it said that I am an ISTJ, introverted-sensing-thinking-judging, which makes all kinds of sense to me. I like to think things through, figure out why something is done a certain way and want order. Now, lets rewind to my life in the last year. It has been so hectic and I feel like I am constantly treading water and getting nowhere. I read that the biggest anxiety for ISTJ people is to be unorganized and have chaos…well, well, well, welcome my last year. I mean, I sort of had it together when I had my oldest but when the twins came, it all went out the window. But at the same time, I hate to feel that way because I do love them so much, but I keep thinking of how laid back (granted, this is in hindsight) that my life was and there goes the guilt cycle and boy, does the devil like to get a hold of that! After much thinking and reading, I’ve come to the conclusion that it is God, growing me in places I didn’t even know about. He’s steadily refining me and making me into a person that he wants me to be. I don’t have it all together and I doubt I ever will at this point, but I do know that God has walked before me and he has a path laid out just for me. I couldn’t do it without him. I’m so thankful that he puts messages in my path (especially when I don’t have any idea that I need them!) and people to talk about their struggles because in the age of “everything’s perfect on Facebook” it’s easy to feel like you are the only one. He’s brought people into my path that speak of grace and are real about their walk with God and it has given me hope and some new perspective. I have seen some people post their “word” for 2016 and thought that was interesting but as I was thinking about it, I couldn’t narrow it to one word so here they go:
- real - I want to show the good and the bad, so people can see that my life isn't all put together all the time. I try so hard but I will always fail and I want to show that it's ok to do that too.
- intentional - Be more intentional with my friends and family. We've all fell into the trap to just send a text message or email and see how someone is doing. It's ok to do that but not as your only line of communication. I want to reach out to people who I haven't seen or talked to in a while, just to let them know I care.
- kind - I need to try to be more kind. This one is the hardest for me because I don't understand people and expect certain things, which is crazy I know. I don't know where some people have come from or the hard things they've dealt with in their life so I shouldn't judge when I think their actions are dumb or not what they should be. I have also gotten so focused on my family and myself that I have forgotten to reach out to others and be Jesus’ hands here on earth.
In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your father in heaven. Matthew 5:16 (NIV)