Wednesday, May 18, 2016

We aren't always winners...and that's ok!

Ya’ll, the craziest thing happened to me the last couple of days!  It was such a God thing and I have to share!  (Can you sense my excitement with all of my exclamation points?!)  I believe that I have shared my unemployment struggles with the blog before.  I’ll recap if not.  In February of this year, I was laid off pretty unexpectedly.  Yes, it rocked my world but God precisely planned a bible study for me that started the day I was told I would be laid off.  It helped me get through the fear and the unknown of that time.  Since then I have been looking for work but have not had any luck.  About a month ago, I got news of a position that I was interested in.  I emailed the contact and she said she would talk to her manager.  It sounded promising, but I didn’t have the feeling like “this is it”. 

Skipping the mediocre part of the story, I thought I did well with the interview and felt like I could definitely handle the position, but I still didn’t have that peace about it.  The manager told me she would get back with me in 2-3 weeks with a response.  Ok, that was the longest 3 weeks ever!!!  During that time, I feel like I grew desperate.  Like, that has been the only job I have interviewed with during this time and what if that’s it?!  Or EVERYONE is asking me “what am I doing” or “have you heard anything from anyone?!”  I know they are concerned but it’s really annoying and makes me panic a little when people put so much emphasis on it.  God has been providing for us financially, even more than if I would have been working, so we aren’t worried about that.  It’s just that I enjoy working and the feeling I get from being able to provide for my family and others in need.  Well, that wasn’t a tangent I was expecting but we’ll roll with it!  : )

So, Friday, I woke up early and did my bible study.  It was over waiting on God with hope, specifically having me search the bible for verses dealing with waiting and making me write down what my expectations are of a request we have for God so we can “Get ready to watch God move.”  I wrote what my expectations are for a job, not really even thinking about the job I interviewed for.  Being close to home (I was spoiled with a 10 minutes commute with my previous job) and a position that has a flexible schedule were my two main requests.  I finished the study and got the kids ready for school.  On my way home, **at a red light** I read my email rejection letter… “You have great qualifications but we are pursuing another candidate for this role”.  My heart sank.  I mean, this role was perfect for me, right?! 

Then, I was reminded of the study I did that morning about waiting on God and that gave me hope.  The job was 30 minutes away, under conditions that I wasn’t 100% sure of anyway so to be completely honest, it wasn’t what I truly wanted.  Without that reminder, the devil could’ve used that to fuel my rejection, my angst about being home and kept that playing like a broken record of destruction and disappointment. Then when I got home, I read a devotional comment from a friend at church and it went right along with what I needed to hear.  “He strengthens us to face the defeat we have suffered, to work through the grief we have, to over come the depression we are in, whatever the circumstance we are in He is our strength and out hope.”  Does it stop there?!  Nope!!  Another friend’s facebook post about “Do not give up” quoting 2 Corinthians 12:9, a Proverbs31 devotional telling us to call out to God because he hears us and nothing is too trivial for him, a message from the local Christian radio station that the Lord will fight for us and a few more.  All of it came together at that specific time to make it so much easier to accept the rejection, defeat and discontent of that day. 
I have no idea where this time is taking me but I do know that God’s got it under control.  He’s showing me things that I wouldn’t have seen in my “fast paced” life before.  He’s rebuilding the relationship that I lost and he’s showing me that he is here, right now and there’s nothing more important than that!  I feel like he’s intentionally slowing my life down and getting it back in order and I am so excited about that.  It’s sad that we have to go through hard times to reach out to God, but am so glad that when we reach out He is there.  Thank you Jesus!

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.  John 16:33 (NIV)

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