Thursday, May 5, 2016

He's working on me!

Hello!  Hope everyone is doing well. Today, I have gotten a couple of messages that I wanted to share.  God is working overtime in my life right now and I need it so desperately.  One message that I have gotten is that when we accomplish the small things with God, he knows that he can trust us with the big things.  I feel like I can trust him with the big stuff, to a certain degree, it’s just the small stuff that I struggle with continuously.  The day-to-day stuff that wears me down and keeps me from feeling that joy.  Since I am staying at home, my stress level has increased by 300%.  I am not a mom who finds my worth in how much my kids need me.  Jude has always been such an independent child that I didn’t struggle with this as bad, or maybe he was the only one so he got all of our attention.  But with 3 small kids, this is the hardest thing I have done!!  Jude and Connley fight for my attention.  Someone is always crying.  Corbin wants me to look at what he’s done.  Individually, it’s not a big deal, but when it’s all-together, at the same time, it is so overwhelming to me.  I know I probably sound horrible, but I just want to be real. I just have to trust that God is using this time to refine me, to shape me into the person he needs me to be.  Yes it’s hard, and no I won’t do it perfectly starting tomorrow, but I acknowledge my problem and am willing to fight the fight to come out victorious with God’s help! 

See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wastelands.   Isaiah 43:19 (NIV)

The second message that I’ve been getting multiple times over, is giving grace to ourselves. I’m slowly learning that I can’t do everything like I would want.  The house is as clean as I can get it, the laundry is laughable, doing fun craft projects that I want to do is so 2011 (the year Jude was born!!  Haha!).  It’s frustrating and I get so mad sometimes, but I have realized that it is God’s will for me to be right here, right now.  My family isn’t going to care that I didn’t get to make this awesome Pinterest craft 20 years from now, so why should I care?  And it’s not going to help that I am wishing these years away.  I just need to focus on what’s best for me, my family and that its in line with what I think God wants me to do.  We also need to have grace for our friends or acquaintances that are struggling. It’s easy in this social media, “look at me” world that we’re in to pass judgment so quickly, but we need to remember that we have no idea what they are going through. 
And when God brings you a message more than once, from different sources, you need to pay attention.  At least, that’s what he does to me.  I’m trying Lord!!  I’m really trying!!

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s powers may rest on me.”  2 Corinthians 12:9

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